I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
