So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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