her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
