were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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