I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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