cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize