Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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