We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
