How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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