sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
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It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
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I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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