Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
smell my finger.
vagina is talking i cant
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
