I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
