His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
