i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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