Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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