think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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