Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
