Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
How does one acquire holy water?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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