it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
