There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
