I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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