he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
