There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
