So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
