Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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