Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
