I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Two words: nipple clamps
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