...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
