one might say we're banned from that church
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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