I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
