With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
