is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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