The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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