what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
