Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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