I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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