Sponge bath it is.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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