Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We have started to decorate penises.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
