Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
