Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
