u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize