Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
