Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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