Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
