I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
