What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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