Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
