erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
tell your sister to shave her snatch
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
