alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
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And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
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I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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