Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
