she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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