what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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