your parents love me but you hate me
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
