as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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