are you still at the devil's house?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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