i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
