we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
