I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
