I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize