She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
