If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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