nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
