Porn is love you can see.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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