Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
