singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
