if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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