We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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